The B.S. I Put Behind Me Because Of Divorce
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September 08, 2017


Who doesn't love to receive a pretty present? I'm not just referring to whatever is inside the box- the actual gift- that you will keep and cherish; but, the overall package of a festive bow, enticing wrapping paper, and perhaps a nice card! It makes us feel special when someone took the time to present an offering that is beautiful both inside and out!

Not all gifts come in lovely wrappings. In fact, some times the greatest rewards in life don't appear to be anything we would want at all when we first receive them! Divorce was one such present that I did not want to accept.

Divorce appeared at my doorstep much like the unwanted pile of poo left by a neighbor's dog. Everything about it was awful. It sent my emotions into the crazy tailspin of a lunatic, everything in my life began to feel unstable, unpredictable, and uncertain. It seemed like the worst possible thing that could happen to me, and I wanted it away from me as soon as possible!

Life has a great sense of humor; and, obviously, there are many things about the big picture that we are too small to understand when they occur. For instance, what looked like a steaming pile of smelly excrement that angered me and I dreaded cleaning up, was actually free fertilizer for my garden, allowing something beautiful to grow where once something nasty was!

Once I scraped the stench of divorce off of the bottom of the shoe of my life, I discovered all the amazing ways my attitude has changed about life for the better:

My b.s. meter is much more sensitive. I have already endured enough b.s., I don't want any more b.s., and I find ways to eliminate b.s. from my life! If something or someone is going to bring nothing but drama into my life, I smell trouble a lot more quickly and send it packing! Divorce made me a lot more conscious of traits in others that indicate they're going to hurt or take advantage of me, so I am better-equipped to protect myself!

No time for that crap! Life is too short, and I already wasted too much of it on the wrong people and the bad situations they put me through! I want to enjoy what time I have left on this planet, so my priorities are on the people I love and who love me, and the pursuit of things that bring me joy! Divorce forced me to re-center what matters so that my time is invested in the best possible way!

I stepped in it, but not again! I made my own mistakes and I was along for the ride for my ex's. I have no intentions of repeating any of those experiences, so I am much more cautious and wiser for the wear!

Today's fertilizer, tomorrow's flowers. It's hard to see potential good things in the midst of the worst life has to offer. Just as a forest fire is often what is needed to nourish the soil and promote lush growth, sometimes an all-out burn down of one's life is what it takes to invigorate our lives so that we can come back stronger and better than ever before! Now when I reflect on things, it wasn't so much my divorce, but my pre-divorce life that was sh*t; but, I got a second chance at my life!

I deal with the sh*t I want to! No longer do I have to endure my ex's bad habits and mistreatment! If I have unpleasant business to face, it's either my own or those that I choose to face. What freedom it is to put the baggage of an ex in the past and leave it there for them to unpack!

Divorce or doggie doo? It can be hard to tell the difference! I wouldn't wish either on my worst enemy; however, at least only the crap remains crappy! In all seriousness divorce is unsightly and stinks in every conceivable way; however, if we allow ourselves time and space from the event, life begins to bloom in unexpected ways. A once disgusting chapter reveals itself to be a lesson- and a gift- in the most unwanted of packages. Let the gift reveal itself and fill you with the strength and attitude adjustment you're long due for!





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